chapter 2: frenz

N when i say frenz.....

not ordinary fren though.....

n this fren, she's great.....

fortunate i am, i have a few best frenz by my side...

this gurl here... shares everything wif me... keke..

newae she's got a bf alr.. hopefully she's found her happiness..

these few days, she was the one by my side ah... sharing most of our stuff together..

we even went swim n sing together..

thanx gurl for being here for me wor...

she's a fren worthy to keep for life.... keke..

ying, for u... muackzzzzzzz....

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reali appreciate all the things ppl had done for me, be it frenz or my love ones..

for the past that brought my to tis day,

it left all very sweet n memorable moments..

for everyone that once shared their lives wif me...

i loved u all... n if i've eva hurt u, my apology n bcos of that, i learnt..

to be a better person..

for those who's alwaez been here for me even when there r times i neglected u...

im sorri n i love u all too...

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life's unpredictable... ppl change... life changes... things grows n things fades through time..

me?

i dun even am sure whether im still the same or not..

wats my heart tellin me n wat im doin now....

i juz live my days like that...

im tired of being hurt..

im tired of lies which leads to heartbreak..

so..

im givin myself a break now..

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chapter 1: realization

wow.... its been 3 long months since i last updated my blog eh..

newae sad case that i've left the job that i loved... long stories... so i shan't talk bout it..

life life life....

complicated should i put it..?

many things happened within these 3 months though..

it was my greatest fear to let go of somethin that once were so very important n precious to me...

people said its no point hangin on to somethin that doesnt belong to u..

i was reluctant about that at 1st.. or maybe all along i am being that way..

n one day, i took up all my courage to make it all cleared...

i found my ans..

n finally, one thing that i've treasured soO hard, i let it go...

i dun say i've made the rite or even the wrong decisions..

maybe it was no longer belong to me..

i hav to let go..

i muz let go..

n even things ended, i became the bad one.. thats to initiate it..

i dun blame anyone though...

newae im used to being the bad one alr.. so wats the dfference rite...? haha..

this is a new beginnin, a new chapter of my life..

n i will not repeat my wrongdoings, i will create a better life...

even if thru out my life til now, its been a rocky road..

i'll keep tryin... i will become a better person..

n for all those who've been thru life wif me...

special thanx.. cos without u, my life knows nothing..

thanx a million..

~~~~~oooh yeeeeeeeahhhhh~~~~~

I've got a jooob.... yeah... thats my dream job man..

juz went for interview yesterday n i've got their call today...!!

n tml i'll be goin down to sign papers le...

n next monday will be my 1st day reporting to work alr..

Dog Care Centre @ xxx... hahaha...

n i'll be a dog handler...!!

WooooOOoOOoOoOOoOoOOooOOooooooOoOOO

im sure u cant believe how happy n excited i am rite now...

congrats me congrats me yeah....

ok ok ok... i muz get hold of myself 1st..

*breathe in* *breathe out*

newae life is B.E.A.U.TIFUL.....

but im being warned that it'll be quite tedious workin there..

but im all prepared.. or not... damn it.. who cares..

i juz wanna work wif dogs n learn as much as possible in handling them..

its way too much better than workin wif humans though...

although i guess i mite get bitten once or twice or many times...

but i bet they wun bite such a nice gurl like me ya? oops..

i juz luv them so much n they wouldn't bear to do that to me rite..?

alrite... as long as i be kind n nice towards them n they will do the same towards me...

n wat i knew was that, GREAT DANE(for ur info, its a breed of a race dog) will be there too.. the largest dog in this world ba.. if im not mistaken.. n mostly they have lotsa GOLDEN RETRIEVER(one of the smartest breed) n they all looked alike.. n i'll hav to recognize each of them n rem their names individually... i'll work extremely hard for that...

shall update again ba...

~~~~~~~PEACE~~~~~~~~

~~16th day of singlehood~~

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hmmm... i hav to admit im reali very very 'fan' these few days...

whenever i get the chance to be alone, everythin juz rushed into my mind.. wat can i do?

the emptiness in this lil part of my heart... more time for me i guess... i may seem strong.. thats me.. the happiest person others saw, was the saddest of them all.. cos they'll onli keep those unhappy n sad things in themselves n will onli bring happiness to others... so ppl will see them as a very cheerful person.. yet nobody will understand..

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y izit that i think i dun deserve such a nice guy like him? n so afraid i mite hurt him?

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y izit that after so many years, we're still here chattin happily, n havin this unexplainable chemistry between us? n guess wat? he's attached.. but i swear, i hav nv had the intention to break them apart..

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y izit that he's the one dearest that i luv most, n at the same time hurts me the deepest?

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they are all different person!

i can see stars, spinning ard me...

[_bless me_]

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it all juz came at one time.. n on the 17th, i'll be jobless...

but overall i lost somethin, n i gained precious times wif my parents.. n frenz..

im happy enuff bout that le..

~~15th day of singlehood~~

as usual, work frm 1030hrs-1830hrs.. nothin much... den went dinner wif ting n per @ LJS... den chat for quite awhile.. haha... talk about our sec sch life n up... wow... nv tot our lives had so much fun.. haha.. counting how many guys went after ting lah, n how many guys went after me.. haha.. think back ah, quite shiok eh.. like got so many ppl liked u n how youngster like us had those puppy love.. n all..

den tot of goin Chevron for karaoke session... acc per home to change den end up fully booked.. den bo bian, try to go somewhere else lo... per suggested to paulander, i dunno whether the spellin is correct or not.. but aga is that lah.. heard per said its sellin german beer de pub wif live band de... n guess wat? full again.. den ting suggested go dempsey hill.. but den on our way there, ting fell aslp.. duh... den we went home frm orchard... so its juz dou fong onli lo.. actuali oso not bad lah.. sit in his car den listen to music, relax.. fotos that i took....

~~my bestie of 10yrs, ting~~

~~n this... my brother of 8yrs~~

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such a long long frenship le.. sure will treasure them de.. keke...

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What Yuyan Means

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising. You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

~~13th day of singlehood~~

work again... 11pm den knock off... tml hav to work mornin still... so gotta slp soon after bloggin... somethin interestin happened today in shop... at 1st when i reached shop, its quite peaceful de... means very quiet lo n there are 3ppl together...

den i juz go do my own things, read papers, go buy my mineral water.. den back to shop.. den C went out, C bought cheese cake for me.. quite nice de.. maybe is for my belated bday de ba.. keke..

den yest ate jewel's bday cake le.. today dunno y jewel brought another slice of cake for me again.. wow... ate so many cakes these 2 days... fattenin ahhhh....!!

alrite back to today's interestin show... ok ok... i dunno how n why it all started... i was sittin at my very own spot, listenin to radio which is juz in front of me, den all of sudden i heard C talkin quite loudly, very dulan de voice.. den K at 1st listen n kept quiet.. den C kept shootin K those very awful words, K cannot take it den talked back, haha... den K kena phucked big time, C shouted even louder, den i was like... eh.... lookin at them... n continued doin my own things.. haha.. bastard rite... bo chap... K oso lan lan kept quiet.. den even worse, talk talk nvm, now throw fries somemore... haha... i see liao, wanna luff oso force myself to shut up.. funny sia.. but reali very tense ah the atmosphere.. i dunno wat to do, stop C or join in to shoot K? mind my own business better... den throw fries not enuff, even plastic no. tag fly.. haha.. den broke lo.. den next moment, K took the broom to sweep away the trash.. haha.. very funny lo the scene... den i reail cannot tahan, called Y to chit chat lo.. den talk talk abit, she gotta do her things den hung up.. now i dunno wat to do still... walked back to my spot n sat down, did the same things again lo... hahahahaha... normally, if this kinda things happened, even if its normal human being oso will try to stop the arguement or wat lo... me leh? watch show onli.. see how a man kena phuck big time by a gurl 7yrs younger than him.. haix.. very sad thing ba... i reali pity K ah, but my mind oso think he deserved that leh.. jialat.... pathetic lo...

aiya, if u wan others to respect u...

1stly, u hav to respect others loh...

if not, this kinda problem sure will happen to u..

hahaha..

~~12th day of singlehood~~

juz reach home after a day's work.. tiring sia..

newae its jewel's birthday today!!!

she's the neighbour's daughter of my shop there..

pretty little 3yr old gurl..

very smart though! when she grow up, woooo..

sure power de.. very ai mei now already...

needless to say when she's much older..

cute rite????

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newae, nothin much happen at work today, onli tok cok wif my fellow colleague lo.. since my 12th day le, i can move on alr... finally... n i've got everyone by my side le... special ones of cos there is... keke...

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yest stayed over at my cousin's house.. ard 5plus like tht met her at chong pang den my daddy fetch us to mrt station de ntuc den went to buy stuff for makin salad at her house.. den watched dvd together, chit chat... den surf net together... acc each other... keke.. talked bout guys!!!! all the hurts n all types of guys... the goods n the bads... haix...

its not that i wanna condemn most guys but frm all the bad experiences i've had, it leaves me no choice but to protect myself against them.. dun luv if ur not reali in luv wif us!! or if ur still thinkin of ur exes... its very very unfair to us who put all our efforts in u yet in the end, we're not the one u truly luv... plsssss, dun be so selfish.. gurls are not toys to be played ard.. we need respects too... we are humans too..

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~~~~update update~~~~

i dunno whether izit i dunno how to luv or luv too deeply..

that caused things to alwaez go the wrong way..

sometimes when i think back.. it reali hurts deep down..

im not the one he wans to treasure, whereas she's the one..

n i noe we can no longer be together again le..

everythin has ended..

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n i noe somehow somewhere... someone is alwaez stayin by my side

n i dunno wat i can do to make u stay longer, yet i noe i cant anyhow make promises..

that im afraid i mite or mite not hurt u in future.

bf after bf... n ur still here...

im reali glad that someone is doin this for me..

tis is reali called `bu li bu qi`

i reali appreciate all these..

juz stay until the rite time alrite...

time will tell the truth...

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after a day's work again... tirin..

newae maybe now its time to live life alr...

i've walked out of my past n we're frenz le..

not being stupid or watsoeva, cos even if u hate a person, u'll onli not feel good..

somemore once he/she was the closest to u..

so, no point hating lah..

juz let everythin be loh... everythin is meant to be..

fated to be together or not, is not up to us to decide de...

this way... both will feel much happier..

thats wat i believe in... haha..

n now im much happier le... goin to take my things back frm his home le..

n at 1st my heart felt sourish, but after letting both of us know that this is a better way to live,

i've decided to let go n we're both good to go... keke...

renz are better than enemy rite...?

hmmm... this way i will feel better i guess...

prezzies for my bday..

yawn.. juz woke up... yest finished work at 11pm.. den went to chilled wif ying..

so nice loh.. chit chatting, crapping, singing away the blues.. haha..

n my 1st experience boozing at kopitiam.. hahaha...

alrite...... i was told that my blog was alwaez bout r/s... but other than r/s... i hav nothin much to say alr eh.. no life rite? but ur wrong... when ur in a r/s, life's much more beautiful than u think..

u hav that special someone to spend his/her time wif u, share every happy, sad moments wif u..

no matter wat, he/she will be by ur side...

isnt it great to be in luv?

isnt it great to know that the special someone luvs u too?

but when things turn sour, u can nv know how that special someone became a total stranger to u..

newae now its back to my life, alone...

i assume no one will believe de.. but its true..

sleepin alone, scares me....

walkin alone, stumble over me...

sobbin, breaks me down...

thinkin back, holds me down...

holdin onto, weakens me...

leavin, forced me...

but...

time, heals me..

time, strengthen me..

time, reveal the goods n the bads...

n now..

all thanx to him leavin me..

that i realised...

im saved..

for that, i muz live much more happier than ever..

time will tell...

something new

hmmm.. thot of creating a blog here ba.. try something new.. gonna head to work soon le.. so juz drop some message here..

its been 5days alr.. n i've decided to let everythin go once n for all..

majority of guys r unreliable...

how to trust a guy that much? haha... so silly ya...

i muz learn to be more cautious le..

cos when i thot i saw the right one, thot he's so pure, so innocent.. but all was juz blinded..

i regretted..

but at least i've learnt n realised,

that i shouldn't trust one so easily or maybe not to luv so hard..

i know there's still someone who's alwaez by my side,

alwaez being there for me no matter wat.. i know they're different..

but if thats true, they hav to prove that they're worth being trusted...

n im onli here to see for real..

someone to dote me n luv me wholeheartedly....

n if YOU're reali sure that im the one, no matter how long time takes, u'll sure wait de..

who will that be?